Emotions are Footprints in the Rain

and I wish mine would just wash away.

What is a servant leader?

TEN CHARACTERISTICS OF THE SERVANT-LEADER - Larry Spears

1. Listening receptively
2. Acceptance of (and empathy with) others
3. Foresight and intuition
4. Awareness and perception
5. Highly-developed powers of persuasion
6. Ability to conceptualize and communicate concepts
7. A healing influence upon people and institutions
8. Ability to build a sense of community in the workplace
9. Practice contemplation
10. Willingness to change.

I came across this list and it made me stop and think. Of course, I've seen "servant leadership" preached by running people around like madmen "serving" and teaching them to be "humble".

The insight that this list provided definitely makes me more open to wanting to understand what servant leadership really is. I think God would want me to want to understand since His Son was the best example of serving that we have.

I need to contemplate more on this. Any thoughts?

Forever is a long time

“We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears.”

Interesting quote. I wonder if it proves true more often than not? I was having a conversation about marriage vows the other day. At the height of love and wedding planning, the words that we plan to say to our future spouse on our wedding day are ones that I think most mean with as much context and understanding as they have.

I'll be honest, when I said my version of in "sickness or health", I was thinking, chances are, we'd be more healthy than sick. And by sick, it probably meant a nasty cold or the flu. I didn't ever think we'd have to battle cancer together, or one of us be paralyzed in an accident. Those things just don't come to mind.

And when I said something like "richer or poorer", I'll be honest. I never figured we'd be rich or well off, but I can't say that I thought we'd have to face a year where James was unemployed for several months. That happens to "other people".

There are more examples I could give but they're a bit personal. Looking back, if we had to include the ugly in marriage in our vows, I don't know I could really utter them and have meant them the way I naively meant the ones I did say.

In the over 9 years of marriage I've experienced, I'd like to say, I've grown. I've lived, and loved more. That I better understand what making vows to love and be with someone forever. Perhaps I do understand that better, but I also understand how much fights against a marriage these days. While the challenge of in laws or dirty socks can feel rather moutainess at times, I've come to understand that when something bigger than dirty socks comes in and rocks your world, you have a choice.

You either choose to keep loving or you don't. Love is beautiful in the hearts and flowers of new love, but I think it's even more beautiful when you can love in the really ugly times.

My baking adventures

I bake a lot, but I haven't really shared much of that here. I figured I should add some diversity to my posts and share what I make, when I make it. So, here is the recipe for a homemade strawberry cake that I made for Ekaterina's birthday. I topped it with a homemade cream cheese frosting.



James had the guys small group at our house that night so they got to share in the festivities. Since purple is Ekaterina's favorite color, that is what I colored the frosting to be.

I've tried box mixes in the past for strawberry cake but they have an artificial taste to them. I made a strawberry cake from scratch a few months ago but it just didn't have the flavor that I wanted. Also, it's color was kind of bland. So, I went searching for another recipe. I came across a recipe replicating Sprinkle's bakery strawberry cupcakes. It said it made 12 cupcakes so I doubled the recipe, and then I added a little more than called for strawberry puree. To get my puree, I simply bought frozen strawberries in syrup because I wanted it to be on the sweeter side. By doubling the recipe, I got just enough cake batter for 3 layers in 9 inch pans.

Ingredients

Sprinkles Cupcakes' Strawberry Cupcakes (as found on Oprah's website)

• 2/3 cup fresh or frozen whole strawberries (thawed if frozen)
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour , sifted
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/4 tsp. coarse salt
• 1/4 cup whole milk , room temperature
• 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter , room temperature
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 large egg , room temperature
• 2 large egg whites , room temperature

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with cupcake liners; set aside.

Place strawberries in a small food processor; process until pureed. You should have about 1/3 cup of puree. Add a few more strawberries if necessary, or save any extra puree for frosting; set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt; set aside. In a small bowl, mix together milk, vanilla and strawberry puree; set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter on medium-high speed, until light and fluffy. Gradually add sugar and continue to beat until well combined and fluffy. Reduce the mixer speed to medium and slowly add egg and egg whites until just blended.

With the mixer on low, slowly add half the flour mixture; mix until just blended. Add the milk mixture; mix until just blended. Slowly add remaining flour mixture, scraping down sides of the bowl with a spatula, as necessary, until just blended.

Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin cups. Transfer muffin tin to oven and bake until tops are just dry to the touch, 22 to 25 minutes. Transfer muffin tin to a wire rack and let cupcakes cool completely in tin before icing.

I added a little pink (from the NEON colors box) food coloring to ensure I'd get a color worthy of being called a strawberry cake.

Tada!

What does peace sound like?

Sometimes, I dig out The Message and want to hear something that helps me get past the language I've always read a verse in and see into it, a deeper meaning, maybe the spirit of the verse, versus the thees and thous.

I read my daily devotional email that I get and thought I'd check out one of the verses in The Message.

^6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

You know, it's pretty easy for me to worry. I don't consider myself a fearful person but I am a worrier. What's the difference? Haha, I don't know. Maybe I'm delusional about myself. What I do know is that I don't have to worry. God's promised me that the burden is light when I allow Him to help me.

Recently at a Chi Alpha gathering, one of our students shared what she felt God had spoken to her. It was as if, we were at the bottom of a mountain, and Jesus is standing next to us. As we are at the mountain, preparing to hike up, we often times, complain about our hiking pack that we're carrying. We whine about it being so difficult and heavy and wearisome. All the while, Jesus, who is standing right next to us, is wondering why we don't give it over to Him, because He's already offered to help us. Sometimes, it's guilt we're carrying around. Sometimes, it's fear. Sometimes, it's doubt. Sometimes, it's hurt. Sometimes, it's shame.

Jesus, His Spirit, His blood, His power, they can take on any of those bags we're carrying. I'm so glad this student shared that night. She could have been too afraid to share, but she stepped out and I was encouraged.

Which brings me back to the verses. Usually, when I read "In everything, with prayer and supplication" (the verse in an actual translation) sometimes I think praying through something is overwhelming, but I like how The Message encourages me with the wording, " Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns". Reminds me that if I choose to praise God amidst the storm, my praises will be shaped into prayers and praying won't seem so overwhelming.

Next the verse talks about wholeness coming, a beautiful pictures, I think. Then it moves on to, It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

I looked up displace and found:

dis·place (ds-pls)tr.v. dis·placed, dis·plac·ing, dis·plac·es

1. To move or shift from the usual place or position, especially to force to leave a homeland: millions of refugees who were displaced by the war.

2. To take the place of; supplant.

Ah, Christ taking the place of worry. This does take obedience and submission on my part though. When that happens, Christ can become the center of my life. These two verses end by saying "Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies". Reminds me of movies and soundtracks. How lovely music accompanies many of the sweet moments in the lives of characters. That God's way of working everything together, produces a lovely soundtrack for my life.

Now, many Christians like to quote this verse to other Christians who have something bad happen in their life. They quote it as if God causes everything bad that happens so that He can use it for good. No, God does not cause everything in our life that happens. We have free will, we make choices. His Word does promise us though, that He -can- -use- everything to work together for good. I sure am thankful. I am thankful that God's peace, that passes understanding, sounds like a beautiful symphony, harmonizing in perfection.

Beautiful. God, help me to follow Your Word so that I can have a faith and peace that passes understanding and doesn't require an explanation or reason.

Celebration of a daughter

Ekaterina turned 9 today. Really, where did the time go? Nine years is a long time and yet, I like to think of her as a kid and not someone on her way to becoming a young lady.

When I was pregnant with Ekaterina, I wanted a daughter more than words can describe. Every ultrasound, I hoped we'd get a peek at the gender of the baby I was carrying, but no, the baby was always a stubborn being and never gave in.

Ekaterina is still stubborn. ;) When the doctor declared, "It's a girl", my eyes welled up and I don't know that I knew such joy was possible. Ekaterina was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen and I wasn't sure how I had been blessed with the privilege of raising such a treasure.

I find that now, I expect more from her than I ought. She's a good helper and I depend a lot on her. She's taken an interest in going to the store with me when it's just she and I and I have to say, life really changed when Octavian came around. What she'd grown used to, became completely different. Now, when she asks, if it's possible, I let her come. I enjoy those mommy daughter moments. Just she and I. The girls. I hope that she doesn't grow tired of time with me as she matures and continues to grow into the person she is.

She loves to nurture other little kids around her. She loves to bake with me. She enjoys making lists and using her creativity. She has come out of the reserved shell that she used to have and is definitely more socially adventurous than she used to be.

Still, the one thing I want most for her, the desire I have above all else for her life, is that as she grows, she wants to grow more in her faith. Cultivate that relationship that she chose, without us pressuring or making her. I want the Holy Spirit to be a voice that she recognizes and is sensitive to on her own.