Everything Happens For A Reason

Really? When a little girl is hit by a car and dies, there's a "reason" for this? Or when cancer strikes, there's a "reason". Or when, my washing machine dies, or my tire goes flat, there is some reason?

See, I've known those O words about God since I was a young girl. Between Sunday School and Christian elementary school, I knew that God was omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. Everywhere (always present), All-powerful, and all-knowing. Somehow, we associate the all-knowing part of God with something that I think is wrong.

People usually say "everything happens for a reason" and follow it up with "God knew this was going to happen" to try to comfort people in hard times. They usually imply by the way they say it and the timing of such phrase that it is God's will for such a thing to happen and then throw in the verse about how God can use anything for good.

In my (at this time, not very humble at all) opinion, Christians needs to stop pretending that bad things happening are God's plan. Sometimes, cruddy things happen because in order to experience in the intimacy of communion with the creator of the earth, He had to give us a free will. We live in a world that has suffering and pain because we are imperfect people. Sure, God knows every single one of my days before I live them.

Sometimes, I believe God allows us to experience trials for our benefits, however, sometimes, I think we go through things simply because we live in a world with other humans. People seem to sit around unwilling to to do anything about the wrong going on simply because "God has a plan".

I realize I'm going to be okay. My family is going to be okay. My kids are going to be okay. Yet, if we become callused to hurting and the needs and lives of others, we are missing the point of being the hands and feet of Jesus. Next time you start to utter those words to someone, stop and think about them. Remember, sometimes life isn't fair. While God always has a plan and purpose for our lives, we live in a world full of free wills and we are affected by the cause and affect relationships of everyone around us. Our families, the drunk driver on the road, our bosses, ourselves, the substances we put in our bodies..... sometimes those words aren't going to do anything but cause the hurt to hurt more.

What does faith mean for me?

As we embarked on our journey to this phase of the unknown, people were constantly telling us, "God has something better". "You're going to move onto something greater". I don't know if that was them trying to reassure themselves, after the decision was made or if it was just the standard Christian response to someone going through a hardship.

So, I've been reading my Bible and some other books for food and encouragement and I picked back up "A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God" by Larry Osborne.

The more I explored the biblical accounts and the less I listened to the motivational talks, the more I became convinced that the kind of faith God wanted from me was quite different from the kind I was constantly being exhorted to have.

Osborne goes on to suggest that faith is less about claiming away doubt but rather a heart of obedience despite the circumstances. I'm more inclined to agree with Osborne.

He says:

The Greek word translated as faith in our Bibles has nothing to do with a powerful imagination, eradicating doubt, or any other form of mind of matter. It has nothing to do with feelings or mental imagery. It has to do with obedience.

I'm thinking, if I can believe God and take His word for just that, HIS word, and obey Him, no matter what my circumstances look like, I'm demonstrating faith. It might not be about not having doubts or concerns throughout my obedience.

Larry gave a great example in his book. Remember Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? They were commanded like the rest of the nation to bow to the golden image. However, they did not want to go against their beliefs and so they did not bow, even with the threat of being thrown into a fire.

Here's what they said to the king,

O, Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we're thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O King.

Wow. We often times in that story see faith in the boldness of standing up to the king and letting him know about their God and how He could save them. (And we all know He could)

Their faith at its greatest, however, may have come from them recognizing that He may not deliver them and yet they were determined to walk in obedience still. Perhaps that is faith really defined. Following God even if the pay off, isn't in the right here and now.

But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.

I wonder, can I stop and listen long enough for God's voice so that I -can- obey, demonstrate my faith and trust in Him.

Osborne says:

The important lesson in this story is not the Sunday school take-home that if we trust God enough and do the right thing, He'll get us out of every fiery jam. While it's certainly true that God honors our faith and obedience with miraculous deliverance, most often His reward comes much later - in a place and time called eternity.

The important lesson is that God is pleased with obedience even when we expect the worst.

I'm going to try to meditate on this topic of faith some more and keep asking God what He wants of me so that I can obey. Jesus' statement about the mustard seed... was He saying we needed more with His illustration or was He trying to say that we can do great things with whatever amount we have, through obedience?

-eds inspired by Susie.

Over the last week I:

Filled: out a form for Ekaterina's school

Checked: my email, lots of times

Figured: out how to make peanut butter pancakes

Visited: with my sister over dinner tonight

Moved: the old runner rug to the garbage and put the new one out

Transferred: a pile of mail from the mailbox to the counter. haha!

Enjoyed: hanging out with Zachariah, just the 2 of us

Gathered: clothes for Tavian's first non-related sleepover

Laughed: at Tavian's silly faces

Played: Webkinz to earn Tavian's pet Octo some Kinzcash

Discovered: that I need to get back to exercising and soon!

Wowed: by Ekaterina's talents and abilities. She's so smart and bright.

Teared: up at just about anything this week.

Pondered: what God could be trying to teach me through this icky time right now.

Overcoming the Awkard

I was dwelling on the sermon that James preached not too long ago on a Sunday morning about Jesus and the woman who came into the temple to be healed.

In that culture and even within the church, women were not allowed to be where men were in the temple. Those with physical diseases like she had were cast out and were outsiders.

This woman presses in, needing to be touched. She probably needed human touch in general, not being allowed to be with the rest of her society, she lacked human touch, care, compassion and kindness extended to her. Her need was great though. Her body needed to be physically healed too. She had a disease that had ruled her life for years.

Jesus didn't freak out, He wasn't threatened by her presence in a place where the rules said she wasn't supposed to be. No, HE set aside cultural, societal, and church rules and norms to meet her need, restore her, and practice real love.

She wasn't allowed in the temple where the men and the healthy were, but I'm so glad Jesus welcomes everyone, that's His way. In fact, Jesus even corrected the religious rulers when they spoke out against Jesus healing her, allowing her in their space, making them uncomfortable, and taking up their time.

Jesus went beyond the usual, the expected and He met a need. Practical love. 1 Corinthians defines love for us.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

In the sermon, James pointed out that Jesus could have arranged for the woman to come back, when it was more convenient. When it was more comfortable for Him. (Kind of awkward being interrupted while teaching at the temple). He could have said, come back to me tomorrow, I'll be on the tall hill, preaching to a few thousand people, we can make this a great opportunity for Me to be recognized.

He was patient with her, as it took her a while to walk down the aisle since she was bent in half, unable to walk upright for years. He was kind, He touched her when most people were unsure of how to act around her. He was not envious of the attention she was probably grabbing. He wasn't rude to her, telling her that the rules said she was not really supposed to be there. No, HE protected her. Offered her hope. Corinthians doesn't say love is -sometimes- those things or that love is those things when it's easy or when we feel like doing them. It says love is -always-.

The leaders that Jesus was teaching could have avoided the awkward situation by removing her, since she wasn't really allowed to be there. That would have been the easy thing. Jesus demonstrated the love He expects from us though. To welcome the unwelcomed, to help restore those that have been cast out and labeled in our society, He wants us to meet needs. When we see someone hurting, we aren't to turn away because it's easier than persevering through a little discomfort. No, I think Jesus set the standard. Not just in this one example either. I'm thinking of the woman ready to be stoned, the tax collector in the tree, the children who stormed Him to sit on His lap when the disciples thought children had no place, the woman at the well - she was one of those people that His type weren't supposed to talk to. Time after time, He showed us His way.

That was one of the most memorable sermons I've heard. It challenges me to look beyond the norms, the uncomfortableness or awkwardness and seeing hurting people. Then, once you see them, meet their needs. After all, if love is kind and not self seeking, that's what Jesus would do. That's what He did.

The truth is...

The truth is, I'm not okay with it. Really. It still eats away at me. Even though I know there's nothing in my power that I can do, even though I know it won't change, I still despise the circumstances and I think it's all crud.

While we're speaking of truth. Truth fears no question. Honesty is sometimes hard but it's the right thing and purposely giving part of the details while purposely leaving out part of the others, is not being honest.

I'm still daily giving this part of me over to God. This "I don't understand" and "I need You" part. I recently read a post about Infuriating Grace. If I'm speaking about honesty and I'm honest with myself, I stink at grace. I seem to be willing to accept it from my Savior but I don't seem to be able to cut many people some slack. There's something significantly wrong with that.

Hmm. One more thing for me to "work" on or allow God to work on. Grace has been so freely given to me, I shouldn't be so stingy with others.

Now that I'm a woman...

One year for my birthday or Christmas, I got a rock tumbler for as a gift. I was thrilled. I was ecstatic, actually. I just couldn't wait to see if what was advertised was actually true. I could put some rocks in a machine, let them spin around a few times and then poof, get some shiny stones that I could make jewelry with. It came with some necklace and ring settings and I was like a kid in a candy shop.

I found out that yes, I could use it but the process was much longer than I thought, messier than I thought, louder than I thought, and quite frankly, the jewelry was just some cheap junk that fell apart rather quickly. While the rocks came out looking pretty, my dreams of their worth were kind of shattered. LOL

Now that I'm a woman, it takes more than a polished rock to impress me. I've always been a girl who liked sparkle, glitter, shine, and shimmer. However, now, I know that stones have value based on characteristics.

Well, it's funny that when I was reading Fight Light A Girl, by Lisa Bevere some more, she actually talks about this very thing. I swear, this woman, is a girl after my own heart. She speaks my language. Forgive me for constantly quoting her so much but she says it better than I could by paraphrasing her.

Time passed and we bought Alec a rock polisher for Christmas. It consisted of a tumbler, rough stones, polishing mediums, and some accessories for setting the finished stones. Let the unaware be warned: A rock polisher is a time and noise commitment. First, you put the rocks in with one polishing medium, plug the thing in, and let it tumble for a few weeks before adding the second, finer medium and then the process begins again. There were many times when, alone in our quiet house I would experience a momentary feeling of panic...What is that noise coming from the basement? Then I would remember...It's the rock polisher. I became axious for the process to be over - why did if have to take so long?

Later she continues

There was a lot of scurrying and rinsing, and then the rocks emerged. They were shiny, smooth, and shockingly smaller versions of the stones we had put in. There was one in particular that caught my notice. Weeks ago it had gone into the polisher a dusty, rough-looking piece of amethyst, and now it was a small, shiny purple pebble. As I turned it in my hand to feel all the sides of its cool smoothness, I sensed the Holy Spirit speaking to me:

The stone you hold is the same chemical and molecular compound as an amethyst gemstone, but it differs vastly in value. This one cannot be set as jewelry, for it has no edges, facets, or fire. It is not unlike My children. There are those who go through the same process over and over again, until all their edges are dulled by the repeated experience. I love them and they are Mine, but how I long to recapture their fire, to give them facets, clean lines, and the beauty of captured light.

Wow. That struck a cord. Someone I love seems to be a tumbler. It's like they tumble through life reliving the same experience and while they may appear lively and fun and happy on the outside to others, their real fire and life and passion wants to be recaptured by God and truly restored to the brilliance that only He, the Artisan of their life, can give.

Lisa also says:

There have been many areas and lessons in my life where God wanted to produce a jewel, and I allowed Him access to only the rock polisher dynamic. Instead of surrendering , I whined and complained that life (He) wasn't fair. There were times I drew back when He invited me to come a bit closer. Other times, I clung to relationships He asked me to sever. In those seasons there was the constant hum of the rock polisher in my life. It turned around and around as I resisted the beauty that could have been realized in an instant of total surrender and obedience.

Wouldn't it be easier if I would learn to surrender sooner and then I could avoid the annoying sound of the tumbling polisher. Not that the process of fire is easy. Both in Zechariah 13: 9 and in Isaiah 48:10, God talks about the fire. Isaiah says:

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver, I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

Lisa said it would have been easier if God could have said he would test us in the sauna of the spa experience. LMBO! Ain't that the truth. What if I let God test me and came out as a diamond with the kind of clarity and color and cut and quality that others admire and value? Tested by the fire where my beauty comes out.

Goodness knows I've had my fair share of fire lately. To be honest, it hasn't been beauty that's been revealed during every moment of the fire though. If I value shimmer, glitter, shine, and sparkle as much as I say I do, and if my desire is purity, than I should value the fire of adversity and not choose the option of the repetitive tumbling process. What God, are you trying to teach me in all of this? There's a lesson here, and I want to learn it and be proven a child of Yours, strong and true.

One may ask what the difference is. I think a person in the fire says refine me, shape me and asks God, "what are you trying to teach me" and a person in a tumbler says "life isn't fair" and "why me" and "not right now, God".

Thoughts?

7 Things About Me

My friend, Susanne, did a post with 7 things about herself and I thought I'd do one too. I don't know if I can think of 7 but I'll try. lol

1) I like eating topping on my popcorn. When I go to the theater they have this topping you can sprinkle on it, and I usually get the caramel topping. It's so yummy. I add some, shake, add some more, and shake, add some more and keep repeating until I think it's made it's way to the popcorn on the bottom of the bag. For some reason, I can't find the caramel flavored seasoning at the store, although I can find the white cheddar flavor at the store so I buy it and use it at home too. James insists he can taste it in his mouth just by smelling it from my popcorn. He's so sensitive. ;)

2) I bite my nails and I hate that about myself. I've given it up for months at a time on several different occasions and then something always happens to push me to starting again. I wish I could break this awful, good for nothing habit. It's so unattractive.

3) I've lost just under 20 pounds in the last year and I'm happy about it. However, I'm really hoping to get back on the weight loss train and lose more. I'm simply not healthy right now. I'm feeling squishy again, even though I've maintained, I'm not exercising, and I'm not really doing much to lose more. I want to be healthy and I don't want to be struggling with this when I'm my parent's age. I want to make lifestyle changes.

4) I love names and sometimes I think about having more children just so that I could use more names. It's silly because realistically, I'm not the type of mom that could really handle lots of children. I'm not supermom. I'm just interested in beautiful or cool names. I fancy names that are frilly, feminine, girly and romantic for girls. I'm a little more all over the road when it comes to names for boys. Some of them are strong and robust and others are a little more on the trendy or common or biblical vein. Some of my faves: Mirabella, Lilia, Isadora, Magdalena, Isla, Zofia, Estella, Tiberius, Everett, Lachlan, Cyrus, Solomon, Bennett, Matthias, Zakkai, Malachi, I can't even think anymore...

5) I want to travel to Rome, Italy with my husband someday and spend 10 or so days wandering the city, soaking up history, photographing the views with a DSLR, and holding hands hopelessly in love. One day, I WILL live my dream.

6) Speaking of love, we were watching some stewardship videos and this pastor was asked by God to give everything he had, everything. So he did. All his bank accounts, his cars, his house. God asked him what he wanted and this pastor told God, he wanted to remain passionately in love with his wife for all of their days. Awww. It reminded me of Solomon's chance to ask for anything and his request for wisdom. Then I wondered, what -I- would ask for. I thought - I would ask that my children wouldbe passionate followers of Christ. That is my heart's desire. I don't want the heartache of seeing one or more than one of my children not serving God. I really don't. If I could know that they wouldn't struggle with their faith or decide to not serve God, it would make my heart so glad and give ma such a great peace.

7) Sometimes I feel average. Brown hair, brown eyes, size 8 1/2 shoes, 8 - 10 pants, 5 feet 4 inches height, etc... you get the point. I just feel about average in many areas but when I have the chance to create things like cakes or desserts or pictures, I feel slightly above average and that makes me smile.

There you have it. My seven things, inspired by my friend, Susanne's, blog. Hope you enjoyed them!