Teardrops In My Coffee Cup

Here recently, my dad invited me to join him for a cup of coffee at Denny's. Well, I ended up ordering some cheese fries too. I always think I will try something from that restaurant and always end up disappointed. The price of the food is not justifiable for the quality. Blech.

Anyhow, my dad is the sensitive type. He wants to be around his family and he wants to share his dreams with them and wants to listen to their dreams too. He's always been the kind of person that cries when a friend cries and rejoices when they rejoice. He's sincere and so uplifting.

We were talking life and at one point he asked me what was different about life at North Central. He hears me talk a lot about my experience at NCU and I speak of it with such fondness. Sometimes, I am sure I give off the vibe that I yearn for my days there and sometimes, I think I would love to go back and relive it a bit.

Aside from being able to become who I really was and not who people just saw me as (not Tom's daughter, not a pastor's kid, not the firstborn overachiever), I got to experience my faith in a way that I had never experienced it before.

At NCU I attended chapel daily some semesters and others, just on the days that I had classes. Chapels were good but I lived for Wednesday nights at 9:30pm. 9:30pm brought student led Praise Gatherings. These were services that were a time of worship. They weren't planned services with formalities. Just a bunch of young 18-25 year olds, singing their hearts out.

Since I graduated, I've looked for that place where I sensed God's presence in the way I did there.

Over a cup of coffee at Denny's, tears coming down my face, I answered Dad's question. What was so different about NCU? What was different was that it was a Bible College. A place full of men and women who felt called into ministry. Individuals who were called to be pastors and worship leaders and teachers of the Word. The music program there was full of students majoring in worship leading. Not because they just felt it would be fun but because they felt from God, a call on their life to lead people into the very presence of God. At NCU, we sang songs written by these students. I told my dad that I thought that "the church' at large who were stuck singing songs from 1987 or 1995 even were being bad stewards. God hasn't just called us to be good stewards of our money but of our time and talents too. If we are still living back in 1985, we are neglecting to use the very thing He has given us NOW.

As tears continued, I told my dad, "God didn't stop creating David's back in the Old Testament". I was walking the halls of NCU with modern day Davids. Modern day Moses' and Pauls and Peters and Johns.

Every time I think of the beautiful Psalms and songs that God is giving those students now, I cry thinking I'm missing out. I'm missing out on what God is pouring out right here and now. Anyone trained can pick up some sheet music and play a song, but when you get to experience the ministry of a David living right now, wow.

Remember Saul, how he would have David come and play and his spirit would be calmed? When someone has that calling on their life. That gifting that comes only from God, you know. There is no denying it and it's hard not to be so very thankful to our Father for blessing us with others who can encourage us in our faith and join with us in adoration to our King.

I miss those evenings at Praise Gathering. 9:30pm could never come too soon and the last song, whether at 11:30pm or 1 am, always came too early. I treasure those moments. Whether sitting in my seat writing in my prayer journal, raising my hands and voice in surrender, or kneeling at the altar praying with my closest friends. Those moments where my heart was soft, my heart and ears opened to God's voice, and the very tangible presence of God in the room....they will always be dear to me.