Boundaries

I don't read often. Not often enough. As a kid, I'd get a book and finish it in the same day. I just can't do that anymore with little ones around constantly needing a drink or a snack or helping going to the bathroom. So, mostly, I stick to reading magazines or newspaper articles, you know, things I can get through in a sitting.

However, the exception is in the car. James and I will take turns reading to each other, especially on long road trips. James has been reading a lot over the last few months. Most of it, required reading that came with the internship. I have read parts of those books with him.

Most recently the book, Boundaries. Now, I won't pretend that I didn't see/read things that challenged me personally. Goodness knows, I stink at boundaries in many areas. For example, I bake/eat when I'm stressed, worried, depressed, .... bored. ALL terrible reasons to eat. I should set boundaries for myself but I fail more often than a boundary prevails.

I should have set a boundary for how much coffee I could have and how late I could drink it today. If I had, I might not be sitting here, wide awake, unable to sleep. I went to bed, but laying there wide awake, proved frustrating.

So, I was reading aloud to James this week, and in one of the chapters, an example of a situation is given when a wife is exhausted, worn out, and feeling like the family is not a priority. Her husband is gone at work often, and often working late. She decides she can finally talk with him about this and he breaks down, cries, and gives a sob story about how he just has a hard time saying no, and how he doesn't like to disappoint people.

The wife's response? "I found someone you can say 'no' to. Your wife and kids".

As I read this passage, I sat in my seat, wondering if it would "click" with James. We've had similar conversations in our very own home. I've heard all about how ministry is not a 9 to 5 job. I've heard how there are "seasons" of busyness. In the end, I don't think my issue is with seasons of busyness, but the lack of empathy and the inability to readjust the priorities.

In the end, the boss or co-workers, they have the advantage of my husband not wanting to disappoint them or make them mad, or let them down. When do I get to be on the receiving end of that?

Our schedule last week was fun, but crazy. Thankfully we did some things for James' job that enabled me to bring the kids along. However, they started back at school and James at work and Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat night all had activities, and Sunday was church and then required prayer in the evening. Then we hit this week, Monday we snuck in a family game of Sorry! before James finished his report for the rest of the evening, but that led into today which was small group, and tomorrow which is leaders meeting, and Thursday which is service. Of course, that's in addition to being in the office every day for the full day. Friday is an off evening (for now) but he scheduled an event for Saturday. Our "Sabbath". The ONE day we don't have any prior commitments or requirements. It matters little to me that it's an evening activity when the kids will be in bed. It's just one more night, alone, for me.

Ugh.

Boundaries. The Sabbath is a principal worth practicing since we're commanded to keep the Sabbath in the Bible. It's not just about Spiritual health, either. I believe, it's a discipline that will safeguard our physical health and family health.

This wasn't meant to just badmouth my husband, that wasn't my intent. There are plenty of things that he's GREAT at! Nor was it meant to whine and complain. I was just mulling over the topic of boundaries and my coffee induced insomnia led me here.